30. Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.

I’ve been giving considerable thought to my appearance as of late.

Perhaps it is simply the passage of time, or the season of life that I am in. But lately, the lines around my eyes are more defined, the grays that once seldom appeared on my head have become plentiful, and I find myself growing tired earlier in the evening than I used to.

When I was in college, my concerns for my appearance rested almost entirely on how I looked in certain outfits, whether my nails were done and my makeup was even, and that my lashes were filled. While now my outfits are more oriented towards my occupation, my nails and makeup are minimal, and my lashes see the occasional touch of mascara, the rest of my concerns are a bit deeper.

I yearned in my youth for attention, affection, and for the ability to captivate others with my words, my actions, and naturally my looks. I didn’t often hear that I was beautiful, so when I did hear it I clung to those words and attached an unholy value to them. As I entered the world of dating, this brought many complications and heartbreak.

The Bible is very generous in its use of the word “deceitful” in this scripture. Charm is rarely honest, and beyond that, charm is often lacking faith or integrity. When I think back to the sweet nothings whispered to me, I remember feeling so… captivated. When I remember the times my beauty has been similarly acknowledged, I now feel a sense of disregard.

While I may now feel the effects of life and time catching up with my appearance, I no longer find value in the idea of being perceived as charming or beautiful. That is certainly not how I want to attract people to me, nor how I want to be remembered. I have no desire for my epitaph to read, “Here lies April, a beauty and a charmer.” Rather, I’d like a verse that signifies the life I lived; the life of faith in my Lord, Jesus Christ.

I have often struggled with the concept of fearing God. When I was new in the faith (newer than I am now, back when I was an infant Christian with a distinct lack of gray hair), I remember reading the expression of fearing the Lord. At the time, the idea of fear meaning reverence, respect, or honor didn’t quite sink in. I was so fixated on the word “fear” that I didn’t stop to consider the biblical context of fearing the Lord.

Now that I’ve had time to ponder these things, I realize that the Proverbs 31 woman fears the Lord in her prayers, her actions, and in each aspect of her daily life. Rising early, serving God; serving her husband, household, and children… These are all acts of worship. When she goes into her village or town, the people who see her know that she is a woman of God. Not only by the name of the family she married into, but by how she carries herself and how she serves.

In the midst of these musings, I can’t help but think back to when I thought fearing the Lord implied literal terror. As I chuckle now at the thought, I want to make it very clear- God is capable of so much. Apart from my pursuit in Proverbs, I am currently reading through Exodus, and I don’t think I need to elaborate further as to the awesome, MIGHTY power of the God I serve based upon that one book alone. I will always do my best to honor God because of the sacrifice His son made, but I would consider it very foolish not to remember exactly what He is capable of.

I don’t expect praise in this life. I pray that I get to hear in Heaven that I have been a faithful servant, but while I am on this spinning rock in the sky, I hope to live out God’s purpose for me- and with any hope, I hope that my pursuit of the ideals our Proverbs 31 woman emulates the reverence my faith is owed.

31:30

31: 28-29