31:15
early day sights
15. She rises while its is yet night and provides food for her household and portions for her maidens
It is approaching 11 PM and I am already thinking of the morning. Not in dread or in fear, simply as a fact: when I close my eyes tonight, God willing, I will awake tomorrow morning. Without any doubt or question, I know that it will be an early rising.
When I set out to pursue this next line of Proverbs 31, I thought I would have to challenge myself to get up early every morning and try to start my days on the right foot. I knew it would be difficult as I have never been much of a morning person. So, like any other woman trying to put the Lord at the forefront of my life, I prayed. I asked Him for the strength to rise early, and to be a better steward of my time before I had to start my day. Needless to say, God delivered in a way I could not have expected.
When I was a senior in high school, my English teacher invited some of her previous students who were in college to share their experiences. One of these former students said something that has stuck with me my whole life. “A day is just a 24 hour span of time. How you choose to use that time is up to you.” This person wasn’t trying to be motivational in their words necessarily, but it was very moving! In hindsight, I think they were probably just saying that you are going to have days as a college student where you get to the library at 2 PM to study, and the next time you look at the clock it’s 10 PM and you have four assignments due at 11:59. In essence, each day is a choice in how you go about living it.
In my experience, God sometimes delivers on promises in a subtle manner, or one that occurs over a long span of time. Alternatively, I’ve been there to witness God delivering a promise so instantaneously that it felt like a smack in the face in terms of force and speed. Because God is hilarious (honestly, does anyone else see how God is working in their life and just laugh in awe? Or is that just me?), naturally the latter occurred after I prayed for the strength to wake up earlier. In the morning after I prayed that prayer, I woke up at 2 AM. When I say that I woke up at 2 AM, I don't mean that I was forced awake by the sudden urge to use the powder room, or that any kind of noise or sensation woke me up begrudgingly. On the contrary, I woke up at 2 AM wide awake. Not exhausted. Not feeling sleep deprived. No desire to go back to sleep. I woke up and I was AWAKE.
I didn’t know what to do with myself. I did my morning audio devotional, then stared at a wall for an hour or so, and eventually got up and made myself a cup of coffee. I couldn’t understand why I wasn’t tired, nor why I couldn’t get back to sleep. I was dreading the inevitable mid-day slump that was going to occur later at work because of my sleep deprivation. Oddly enough, it never happened. I had a typical day at work, and I didn’t collapse into bed the second I got home, either. I went to bed slightly earlier than usual, and woke up at 3:30 AM the next morning. As soon as my eyes opened, I had an inkling of what was taking place. God had answered my prayer in the most obvious and direct possible way.
Since that morning, I have woken up every day around 3:30 to 4 AM. I’m not sure why I bother setting an alarm anymore, because God seems to have moved my spirit to wake me up when the time is right. I wish I could say in the first few mornings that I immediately opened my Bible and started pouring over the text. But after several days of these early mornings, I felt in my heart that this extra time in the morning was a blessing, because it enabled me to spend more time with God. When I wake up now, my heart is no longer pounding with the weight of expectation of the day to come. Rather, I am at peace knowing that I get to spend time cozied up with a cup of coffee and my bible.
I’m still learning to be a better steward of this extra time in the mornings. It is tempting to spend all of that time in bed, just browsing Instagram or simply lounging around. But to make the intentional choice to spend time in the Word has been such a powerful way to start my day. I approach each day with a kind of calm I didn’t previously have, despite doing my best to always read scripture before I left the house.
The second part of this verse speaks of making food for the members of the household. While I pride myself on being a good cook, I normally cook only for myself. During the past month, I challenged myself to spend more time in the kitchen and experiment with new recipes. I didn’t set any expectations, but I was able to make a few dishes that I will absolutely be incorporating into my monthly meal plan. I didn’t stick with recipes that were simple, rather, I even tried using a smoker for the first time for a part of a recipe!
February, though brief, provided me with ongoing challenges to continue pursuing. It also gave me perspective into how I structure my days, my thoughts, and my prayers. It was very different than January in almost every way. But it lends perspective to how I want to begin the next verse challenge, and how to keep God, the Father Almighty at the center of it all.