31:19-20
the world in front of me
19. She puts her hands to the distaff, and her hands hold the spindle.
20. She opens her hand to the poor and reaches out her hands to the needy.
This post will be short, though sweet is not a word I will associate with this very complex bit of Proverbs 31.
Craftiness, hard work- both very essential components of what it means to be a Proverbs 31 woman. This is not a lazy or lackadaisical person, however much whimsy or kindness she exudes. A woman who spins with a distaff may be perceived as fair or insignificant, but her task is neither. Becoming this person who spends the entire day from sunup to sundown selflessly giving her time, effort, and energy to others and to furthering the kingdom still feels like I’m attempting to scale Everest, despite all the months of focus.
I am not a generous person. When I see friends running 5Ks for charity or organizing food drives, I immediately feel guilty for not being more generous and charitable with my own time. I generally don’t carry money on my person, so when a homeless person approaches my car with a sign, I often- and I am not proud of this- look away. Unlike this great woman of faith I am aspiring to, I do not possess many practical skills that I could use to provide for others. In many ways my generosity is lacking because I, myself am lacking.
In March, I was presented with an opportunity in my community to do something generous. It was something very minor, and I was made aware that I could be compensated for any money I spent on preparing for this opportunity. The day before this event, I began to very seriously consider this passage of scripture. It hadn’t really struck me that my actions were generous. If anything, I felt that I was simply doing the right thing. When the day arrived and I saw the gratitude of the people around me for what felt like a very insignificant task, I realized that the gratitude I was receiving was not simply for the finished product, but for taking time out of my schedule and for putting in effort. Needless to say, I did not accept compensation.
I am not going to always have a $20 in my purse to hand to the person on the side of the road. I am not going to be able to participate in every ministry opportunity that presents itself. I am not going to have time/energy/capacity to make something for every bake sale. My most powerful tool as a Christian is the living out of my faith through prayer, and if my faith can move mountains, my communication with the Almighty can certainly be one of the ways I live generously.
I won’t close my eyes nor my heart to the people around me who are in need. Now, when I see someone holding a sign asking for money and I do not have cash, or if I see a ministry opportunity that I cannot participate in, I will instead pray. Pray for safety, shelter, food, and overall security. Pray for the furthering of the kingdom. Pray that God blesses the situation and the people in it. Beyond that, I have the desire within me to start giving back more to the people in my life and to my community. It is time for me to start living generously as a rule, not as it is convenient to me.